Processing Trauma, Dealing With Grief: Cancer
photo credit - National Cancer Institue via unsplash
Yesterday was National Cancer Survivors Day. People all over the world have been touched by cancer in its various forms in one way or another. Whether it be themselves, an acquaintance or loved one; cancer does not discriminate on its victims. This day is to recognize the strength and resilience of those that have been diagnosed and have gone / continue to go through their various treatments. While it is important to celebrate these accomplishments; it is equally important to process and work through our feelings and challenges that present themselves at any stage of this journey.
The Diagnosis
You don’t feel well, you shrug it off as “no big deal” at first; but then you decide after a week or so to go to the doctor. You think it is just some antibiotics, or some other simple fix; but then you get a phone call to go to the doctor’s office due to some test results. Then, you hear the news… you have cancer. Your life is completely changed. Some feel numb or disbelief, others deny the diagnosis altogether depending on the individual. What remains true for everyone is that their lives will not ever be the same again.
Some of the changes you may now be faced with are:
Health and physical capacity
Employment or income
Fertility or sexual function
Physical appearance
Plans, experiences, and opportunities
Time with children, grandchildren, partners, and other loved ones
Friendships and other meaningful relationships
Cognitive acuity
Personal autonomy
Energy, motivation, interest
Identity
The New Normal
Major changes are common with people who are diagnosed with cancer. Although it may go against everything we have been taught, it is important to realize that these changes are ok and we may need them. A few changes that make up this new normal are:
Identifying and expressing your emotions - shock, overwhelm, fear, sadness, anger, or disbelief, are all common emotions that you may feel.
Asking for and accepting help - Learning how to ask for and accept help will allow you to get your specific needs met in the near or distant future that is part of adjusting to this diagnosis.
Establishing connections – building your social support system can bolster your physical and emotional well-being.
Final Thoughts
Receiving the news that you have cancer can be devastating. You go through, and sometimes get stuck in, the stages of grief. You think about treatment and whether you can afford it, as well as getting your affairs in order in case things take a turn for the worst. Therapy through this troubling time can allow you to start the fight and give you the emotional stability and clarity you need to get through this. If you or someone you know is going through or has gone through this, reach out…