photo credit - Nathan McDine via insplash

Another hot mental health topic for the month of June that hits close to home is Men’s Mental Health; and what better time to talk about this than on Father’s Day. For many of the men that grew up in my generation and older, young boys were raised to believe that men don’t talk about feelings, and that we were to “rub dirt on it” when we got hurt. For many of us, that carried on into our adulthood and we passed it down to our sons as a “badge of honor”. This is not only toxic for men’s mental well – being, it is one of the core reasons behind the shocking number of suicide attempts and completions by men each year.

The Facts

There are some important statistics to keep in mind when we are talking about men’s mental health.

In 2023, there were approximately 100 suicides completed by men per day, that is roughly (over) 36,000 per year. [1]
Men are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than women. Men represent around 80% of deaths completed by suicide. [3]
In the United States, in the year prior to completing suicide only 35% (on average) of men attempted to reach out to a mental health professional. [2]

When we think about the total population these numbers are staggering. Suicide is the second largest killer of men in the United States, with unintentional injuries (auto accidents, drug overdoses, and falls) being #1.

What Can Be Done?

While it is important for men to seek professional help where needed; it is equally important for us to be a support for each other. Here are some tips on how you can be supportive and help the men in your life to “lay the burden down”, for a while at least.

Sit and have an honest conversation with them – Ask them how they are doing, don’t be too quick to try to fix it or defend your actions. A lot of guys just need to vent about things that get under their skin/piss them off, without the expectation of change. When you start to try to fix it or defend what is bothering us, all that does is invalidate how we are feeling.
Show your appreciation - Many guys grow up with it being engrained in them that they are to be the provider/protector of the family. This is not just upbringing but, in our genetics, /DNA. It goes all the way back to the cavemen. Give us time for things that we enjoy. Fishing trips, time with our buddies, things we enjoy; can recharge our batteries and help us to feel like our efforts are noticed.
Validate Without Invalidating – This goes “hand in hand” with the first point. If you have the honest conversation with us, and we open up, don’t respond with pointing out each others flaws. Part of open communication is the ability to validate how each other feels about things without making each other feel like their issues are less than our own.

Final Thoughts

Men go through the ringer on a daily basis with expectations from society in general, their employer, and at home. While we can’t control or change many external facets in men’s lives, we can make small changes in their lives on a personal level. In honor of men’s mental health, and to take care of myself as a man, I will only be posting this one blog post this week. I will still be available, but the time I use to write blogs I will be doing my own self-care activities. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or depression, reach out…

Let's Talk About It

References

1. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Changes in Suicide Rates — United States, 2019 and 2020.

2. Luoma, J. B., Martin, C. E., & Pearson, J. L. (2002). Contact With Mental Health and Primary Care Providers Before Suicide: A Review of the Evidence. American Journal of Psychiatry, 159(6), 909–916. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.159.6.909

3. Public Health Agency of Canada. (2020). Suicide in Canada: Key Statistics

To Be a Man…

PTSD and How it Hits Home